9/15/2007

Wedding Etiquette Advice and Suggestions

Really wedding etiquette is only common sense.
Do what feels right to you deep down and more than likely it will be right. Manners are doing things in a way to keep from hurting someone’s feelings.
It brings to mind the story about the queen who was eating with a beggar (don’t know why). The beggar was eating peas with his knife because he didn’t know it was proper to eat them with a fork. In order not to make him feel bad, she ate her peas with a knife. That is real class.
Here are some things to take note of when thinking of wedding etiquette:
An engagement party may be hosted by the couple or either set of parents. It can be cocktails and hors d’oeuveres at your home. You could include family and friends. Dinner at a restaurant with just family is another option. In any case don’t expect a gift at this party.
Some say it’s o.k. to say “adults only reception” in the invitations. In my opinion I would relax about having children at the wedding. Of course if children are part of the wedding party they definitely will be there, but don’t get bent out of shape if others come along with their parents. More than likely people won’t bring them unless they are particularly close to you (they enjoy an evening out). Never include the words “no kids” on the invitation.
Think a long time about who your attendants will be. It wouldn’t be very good wedding etiquette to “uninvite” someone after you’ve already asked them to be a bridesmaid, for instance. By the way, bridesmaids and ushers don’t have to be an even number. One usher may escort two bridesmaids if necessary.
If this is your second marriage and you have children, by all means include them in the wedding. One way is to let them give you away. It will make it a lot easier for them knowing you want them to be a part of it.
Wedding etiquette has changed. If it’s your second time around it’s alright to wear white.
If it’s your first time around it’s o.k. to wear a color.
If money is an object, you and your fiancé should invite only the people that mean the most to you. Sometimes the guest list is very lopsided. This should be discussed and all parties should have a meeting of the minds.
The groom’s mother should talk to the bride’s mother about what she should wear. It’s only good wedding etiquette.
Everyone should feel comfortable at the reception. Use place cards at the tables so people will be with others that they are compatible with. Have a seating chart where they enter so that they don’t have to search for their table.
Where there are more than two sets of parents (stepparents) it can sometimes be unpleasant. Come to an agreement beforehand about seating, the receiving line and such.
Speaking of receiving lines, it is not necessary at a small and informal wedding. You can just mingle and introduce people.
It is just not cool or good wedding etiquette to ask for cash only as a gift for your wedding. In fact it’s down-right tacky.
Your thank-you notes should be sent out within two to four weeks after the wedding. Don’t forget to mention the specific gift and how you plan to use it.

Wedding etiquette on tipping
Remember that wedding etiquette is about civility, code, decency and good behavior.

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